I don’t talk about my children very often on this blog, in fact I think this is the first post about them. Of course, they are involved in this circus, they have a front row seat! I cannot begin to imagine what kind of psychological scars will be left after witnessing the deterioration of their parents’ marriage…
I have only been awake for an hour and half and today seems like one of the worst days of my life. My youngest son, has been acting out for a couple of weeks and I have tried to take it in stride. I know that the toxic situation between his father and I is the root cause- but damn, there is only so much disrespect I can handle from a six–year old!
Lately, he has taken to telling me that I am not nice to him, I only like his older brother, and his dad is the nice one. SAY WHAT! What alternate facts are these? Truth be told, until recently the youngest one has definitely been more easy going through this hell process. The older one knows much more and is sensitive and it has taken its toll on him. To have my youngest tell me these things repeatedly over the last few weeks is like a slap in the face. Each and every time he says it. And today, all of this drama before I even had my coffee- it’s too much.
Every time they spend any amount of time with their father or any of his relations, I feel like they need to go into one of those debriefing/re-entry portals astronauts have to go through when then come back to Earth. They need to re-adjust to life on planet MOM. I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not. Sometimes, they don’t even speak to me. As hard as it has been, I have never bad-mouthed their dad. It makes me wonder what is going on or being said to make them to behave like this?
The problem with all this drama in the morning is a little thing called: school. The youngest ones’ histrionics are not only verbal, but he actually refuses to get dressed and just sits on his bed or the floor like a bull. Chaos ensues. Big brother is screaming because he is late. Little brother is telling big brother to shut up. I am screaming at both of them…
In a perfect world, I do the school run in one of my cute work out outfits, because after drop off I hit the gym. Let’s just say it’s been awhile since I went to the gym. Lucky, for me I do not have to get out of the car to let the kids out any more… I admit some drop offs have been made in pyjamas! Thankfully, today was not one of those days. For some reason, I threw on a cute linen dress and some espadrilles.
This morning, I would have to take my son out of the car. After which he proceeded to sit down on the sidewalk and put on his shoes- because why not? All the while he is still telling me I am mean. I am annoying. I am the WORST MOTHER IN THE UNIVERSE! Somehow, I kept it together. I tried to coax him into walking down the path to school by himself. Then I threatened to pick him up and carry him like a baby- which I did. Can you believe in the middle of this, a mom, came up to me and told me how great I looked and that I was such a cool mom? I guess she could tell I needed a win, thank you.
After, getting my son to the front door of the school- tears and all. I manged to make it back to my car before I let my tears fall. I am heartbroken by my son’s words and behaviour. I keep asking the million-dollar question: WHEN WILL, THIS BE OVER? Thank goodness there is only one more week of school. I think we all need a summer vacation.
“Some days are just HARD, but there is hope in tomorrow.” -Unknown