My WTF Moment

I didn’t take the decision to divorce lightly. I’d actually been thinking about it for four years – nearly half of my 10 year marriage. So I had been looking for an escape hatch for a long time before taking a leap.

My WTF moment came when I admitted my husband had a problem. I don’t throw around the big A, but my soon to be ex-husband definitely has a drinking problem. And a serious one. After yet another summer and fall break subjected to the highs and lows of his drunken behavior, I had had enough.

I thought about the young and impressionable minds I had waiting for me at home. I no longer wanted my two boys to witness the narrative unfolding right before their eyes. This is not what healthy love looks like.

My responsibility to these future men told me I couldn’t let them continue to see their mother being treated so poorly. By staying in this toxic situation, I was telling my sons that it is ok to  verbally and emotionally abuse women. I was condoning the male chauvinistic behavior that would make most modern women cringe. This hit me like a ton of bricks. WTF was I doing!

I tried several times and in several ways to save my marriage, it couldn’t be saved.

Now it was time to save myself and my children.

17 thoughts on “My WTF Moment

  1. Awesome! It takes courage to identify and recognise the problem. Even bigger courage to break away in the right direction! You go girl !


  2. I’m proud of you Nicole for having the courage and strength to move along, your life will love you for this later! I’m living proof! #holdon #bestrong


  3. As you begin this new phase in your life, know that change is always scary but the reward will lead to a new self affirmation. Never look back except to learn from your past choices and experiences, and carry them forward.


  4. What a role model you are!! You have the ability to assess, adjust, and adapt. You’ve tackled the hardest parts: assessing your family’s situation and making the necessary adjustments. Onward to adaptation, the next chapter, that’s where it gets good again for you and your boys. 🙂 Bravo!!


  5. You’re a strong and courgeous woman my dear friend Nicole! The first step is recognizing there is a problem and exhausting all your possibilities to rectify the problem. In your case, I know you have done everything possible to save your marriage. Now it is time to save yourself! Unfortunately, we cannot fix people or make them change. Change is something we as individuals must conquer on our own and want to do for ourselves first. Most importantly, we also have to recognize their is a problem before we do so. I admire you on taking such a brave difficult decision for yourself and most importantly for the children. Stay strong and know that the universerve is on your side. Ask, trust, believe and you shall receive. Sending love and light your way always…Tanya


  6. This came up in my feed on ig so of course I clicked the link. Curious why if would recommend this to me. You are courageous friend. So many wish they could do the same. Keep inspiring!


  7. It is hard to push back against what society expects women to endure. You gave it your best shot. That is all anyone can expect. At the same time, nothing says that you’re ready to be yourself than presenting your best self.


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